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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cow that gives no milk? An udder failure."

"Friends that are with you during your darkest times probably didn't pay their electric bill either."

"Where are five gay guys on a bus headed to? One Direction"

"Twitter: Where if the chemistry's good, the geography won't be.."

"Why have they created sweet tampons? for sour puss(ys)"

"""Arise! Arise! Foul creatures, I command that you arise! ARISE!"" ""Dad, just once, couldn't you let mom or the alarm clock wake us?"" ""ARISE!"""

"woodpecker What did the woodpecker say to the doughnut? You got the sweetest hole I ever stuck my pecker in."

"What did the child with no hands get for his birthday? Nobody knows yet."

"What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? A virgin."

"A woman went to the bar with a black eye. ""How'd ya get that?"" asked the bartender. ""From my husband,"" she replied. ""But I thought he was out of town?"" he asked. ""So did I!"" she said."