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Joke of the Day

"I feel like if Joe Biden and Kanye West were involved in a Freaky Friday scenario no one would notice for months."

"Fact that will blow your mind away. Did you know that Oprah Winfrey contains enough air that it can be used to inhabit life on Mars by creating an atmosphere."

"I don't mean to brag, but instead of teaching a man how to fish, I just gave him a bunch of things to do when life hands him lemons."

"My girlfriend's daughter was laying across my legs. Me: What am I a pillow now? Her: Yep, and pillows don't talk. I think we're bonding."

"Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. Guess they don't like random people coming up to their door."

"Wife: You put the wrong date on this. Me: Oh, yeah. The year change always messes me up. Wife: You wrote 1992."

"Bet you can't see your dick My colleague said to me, ""I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower."" ""No, just your daughter's head,"" I replied."

"Me: You'll always be my girl. Daughter: Even if I break stuff? Me: Depends on which stuff."

"Yo mama is like the gas station. Pump and Pay."

"Whats hard, black, and keeps me up all night? My Roku."