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Joke of the Day
"Had my son's hearing tested because he's always yelling. Turns out he's just an asshole. :("
Next Joke
"I want to cover you in expensive things like gasoline."
"I like my coffee like I like my racist jokes... Made by someone else."
"Romantic subtweets are like watching a couple kissing in a restaurant. We're all very happy for you but it still makes us want to vomit."
"I think that pedophiles are fucking immature assholes"
"Dog pissed about wearing cone after surgery. Dog spends night banging cone against walls, keeping human awake. Dog-1 Human-0"
"What would you call it when a dinosaur gets into a car crash? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks"
"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back 4 seconds"
"How does one know a man is going to say something smart?..His senentences start with ""A woman once told me.."""
"How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living? By appearing in television spooktaculars."