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Joke of the Day

"How does one know a man is going to say something smart?..His senentences start with ""A woman once told me.."""

"I was raised as an only child. Which really pissed my brothers off."

"Today's 3-year-olds can unlock the smartphone and launch favorite app or music player. What did I do in my 3-year-old? I ate sand."

"What did the Urologist tell his newly accepted resident? Urine."

"I love using those really powerful bathroom hand dryers, because I get to see what it would look like if my hands went skydiving."

"Q: Why can't Chinese Barbecue? A: Because the rice falls through the grill"

"Squad goals: To have a squad"

"What did the lesbian vampire say to the other? See you next month!"

"How did Thor's brother get his powers? Just Loki I guess"

"What do people from Cape Cod say to their butts? Hyannis"