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Joke of the Day

"Cats are great for testing because they have 9 lives."

"*E=mcHammer *when E is a constant variable that can't be touched"

"What's the difference between my ex and my toaster? It only takes 120 volts to turn on my toaster."

"MURDERER: [looking for me] You better of hidden well or you're dead ME: [under bed, tears in my eyes] It's better HAVE"

"When do virgin guys get some ass ? when their fingers go through the toilet paper"

"There was a young barmaid... There was a young barmaid from Sail, On her breasts were the prices of ale, And on her behind For the sake of the blind; Was the same information in braille."

"What did the terrorist say to the racist and the socialist? ""We are the 2016 presidential candidate frontrunners."" This is a joke take it that way"

"Getting to know someone is a lot like making toast; don't do it in the bathtub."

"And then there was the UCLA professor who opened up his vest pulled out his tie and wet his pants."

"Did you hear about the Pharaoh who refused to believe that his boat was sinking? He was in denial"