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Joke of the Day

"MURDERER: [looking for me] You better of hidden well or you're dead ME: [under bed, tears in my eyes] It's better HAVE"

"Why couldn't the computer play golf?... ...Because it had the wrong Driver"

"What kind of chips do you eat in the bath? Shower cream and onion."

"What happened when the mexicans wife passed out on a hot day? He had a hispanic attack"

"Noses and Boyfriends Boyfriends are like noses... People get disgusted when you blow them in public. Especially if you're caught without a tissue"

"How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident? As many as it takes /r/jokes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)^^^"

"What's the most prominent religion in Canada? Jemima's Witnesses."

"There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the right application of fonts and colours"

"What's the worst thing you can hear when Willy Nelson is going down on you? I'm not Willy Nelson"

"Have you heard about the Italian chef? He pasta way"