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Joke of the Day

"What did the terrorist say to the racist and the socialist? ""We are the 2016 presidential candidate frontrunners."" This is a joke take it that way"

"If the FBI needs to get into someones's iPhone without permission.. They should just call U2 and ask how they did it"

"What's the absolute worst city to live in? An atroCITY."

"What do you call a car accident between two Nissan pick-up trucks? Crash of the Titans"

"When I get alzheimer's I'm going to watch The Sixth Sense like every day."

"The Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar. ...it was tense."

"If you could pick any superhero name and power, what would they be? My name would be ""Dad"" and my power would be *invisibility*..."

"Convincing your girlfriend she's crazy is called gaslighting, and it's a dick move. Convincing her she's a robot is called bladerunning... It's a Phillip K. Dick move."

"We call our new maid Non Sequitur, ...because she's Latin and she doesn't follow."

"Never get a circumcision from an unqualified professional It's a rip off"