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Joke of the Day
"Getting to know someone is a lot like making toast; don't do it in the bathtub."
Next Joke
"Friend Who I Haven't Seen in a While: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four? Me: i have no idea what he's for"
"Twitter is working worse than a dollar store pregnancy test."
"On which day during Black History Month are the kids taught how to Dougie?"
"""I set all the cattle free."" - Reverse Cowgirl"
"Two cows are standing peacefully on a hill. ""Moo"", pipes up the first cow. The second cow turns to her and says ""BITCH, I WAS GONNA SAY THAT!"""
"Atleast my crippling depression keeps me going I'm a real self-loathivator"
"Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because D-shells are too big and B- shells are too small. *A random elderly woman just stopped in the street in front off where I was sitting and told me this. Awesome*"
"I just had my ass blasted.. It was an explosive diarrhea."
"You can't declare Massachusetts a state of emergency Because they're actually a commonwealth."