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Joke of the Day

"I banned birthday parties in the office because if you don't care enough about yourself to take the day off why should we care about you."

"What's an Islamist's favourite crop? Rice is."

"And God said to Peter, ""come forth and I shall give you eternal life"" Unfortunately Peter came fifth and won a toaster"

"What do you do if you come across a lion in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise"

"A dentist friend of mine had a T-shirt which said on the front: Let me put my tool in your mouth... and on the back: ...and I will fill your cavity."

"What is a red haired persons favorite alcohol? Ginger Ale"

"What's the best thing about fucking a transvestite? Reaching around the front and thinking, just for a second, that's it's gone all the way through"

"DATE: You hear that an ostrich escaped from the zoo? ME: [from the kitchen] No DATE: Oh. What's for dinner? ME: A suspiciously large chicken"

"Donald Trump has begun work building a wall between the U.S. and Mexico. It's called the wetback setback."

"Why does it see like fur is more hated than leather? Its easy to harass a 90lb aneroxic and walk away. It's a lot harder to do the same to the 250lb tattooed, long haired, biker."