75798

Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump has begun work building a wall between the U.S. and Mexico. It's called the wetback setback."

"Today's assignment: Walk up to people with a manila envelope and ask them ""Have you seen this person?"" and pull out a picture of yourself"

"Two cows standing in a field... One cow looks at the other and says ""Moo"", the other cow says ""Fuck I was just about to say that""."

"Nobody ever explained similes to me; I honestly cannot tell you what it has been like."

"A man goes to a doctor Man : Doc, I have been hurting in places. Doc : Then don't fucking go to those places."

"Capt of Titanic: ""Mayday! We are sinking"" Coastguard: ""What happened?"" *Cthulhu makes throat-slit gesture with tentacle* Capt: ""Iceberg"""

"What do you call a woman who has a lot of sex? Her name."

"Made a mistake while drawing with my crayons. Can't erase. I guess the dragon will just have to have disproportionately large nipples..."

"How come when someone goes to sit down and the seat is dirty they use their hand to wipe the seat then wipe their dirty hands on their pants? What was the point"

"10 years later if Romeo and Juliet had lived: Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Sigh....trying to watch the game here Julie."