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Joke of the Day

"And God said to Peter, ""come forth and I shall give you eternal life"" Unfortunately Peter came fifth and won a toaster"

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"What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mount Rushmore."
"Something disturbing came in the mail today... ...my mailman."
"A recent survey shows... A recent survey shows that nine out of ten people masturbate in the shower. Do you know what the tenth does? No? I guess you're one of the nine then."
"How do you reunite the Beatles? With two bullets."
"What were Jesus's last words to his disciples as he was nailed to the cross? Nobody touch my fucking Easter eggs, I'll be back on Sunday."
"Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist."
"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man? Zero."
"Reception Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."
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