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Joke of the Day

"A lot of people have a fear of flying. Not me. I have a fear of crashing and dying. #pussies #imbrave"

"As a CBT enthusiast I asked to see a dominatrix but she said she was too busy She put me on the grating list"

"What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream? The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)"

"[Racist] So a black guy and a Mexican fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The Mexican. The black guy's stopped by the rope!"

"Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush? The Naked Ape!"

"We're like lazy revolutionaries who act only by posting lame comments on a public forum."

"What do you call a woman who wants lots of compensation? Sue."

"When my grandfather died we scattered his remains in the sea Everyone on the beach panicked because we didn't cremate him..."

"Why did the Orange stop rolling? It ran out of juice!!!"

"My girlfriend and I played footsie at the family table and I climaxed. Turns out it was her grandma. I guess I got off on the wrong foot."