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Joke of the Day

"[Racist] So a black guy and a Mexican fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The Mexican. The black guy's stopped by the rope!"

"Yo mama such a ho... Yo mama such a ho that her privates are called publics. i'm ashamed of this. but also really proud."

"I really was gonna jog at the park today....but I just found an empty park bench so I'll just have a few smokes and cheer the joggers on."

"I got a text today It read: You have won 500 or the chance to see an Elvis impersonator show!!! Reply 1 for the money, 2 for the show."

"I combined two hit games and made ""Angry Words With Friends"" where I just scream obsenities at people while throwing dead birds at them."

"Is an inactivist a thing? Because I think I am that."

"Good grief, did you see that, Hans? A time traveller just appeared, shot Adolf and left again. I mean I know his paintings are shit but WTF"

"""So what do you do?"" I'm a wordsmith ""A what?"" A writer. I deal with words. How about you? ""Oh I'm a uh... weedsmith"""

"Why do penguins never go to England? Because they're afraid of Wales!"

"I don't need a reason to enjoy a little wine. I just need a glass."