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Joke of the Day

"What does a neckbeard call a woman he meets at a fast food joint? McLady."

"I just realized something. Jesus backwards is susej =sausage. Jesus is a sausage. Is this a conspiracy? I really need to know"

"Do you know what the President said to Michelle when he proposed? I don't wanna be Obama self. P.S. I know, it was super cheesy."

"What do a wife and a tornado have in common? First, they suck. Then, they blow. Finally, they take half your house."

"My husband suggested I tone down the Botox and just age gracefully. And I laughed and laughed. But didn't scowl. Cuz Botox."

"Can I have your picture, So Santa Claus knows exactly what to give me on this CHRISTMAS."

"Gave my seat to a blind man on the bus Lost my job as a bus driver."

"Why did Ken and Barbie never have any kids? Ken always came in a different box."

"The United States and Britain are having a competition on who can fuck themselves up the most. Britain is in the lead, but America has a Trump card."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."