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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Our doctor's office painted their examination rooms the color 'Bran Muffin'. They hope to keep our attendance more regular."

"What did the great Ape shout to the pilots who tried to shoot him off the skyscraper? Listen hotshots don't monkey around with me!"

"Started to feel bad about my life but just saw a bumper sticker that said ""I Love My Grand-dog"" and I think l'm going to be ok."

"Just showered using my husband's man body wash and now I'm earning 23 cents more an hour?"

"What does E.T. stand for? Freedom of speech"

"Yesterday I found out my girlfriend of 5 years has conditional gemder dysphoria She said she needed to be Frank with me"

"When I become a ghost, Im going to leave messages in blood, but theyre gonna be overwhelmingly positive, like ""You're Doing A Great Job"""

"Advice to the worm Sleep in late!"

"My nose won't stop running. But, to be fair, it's the only part of my body that's still in shape."