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Joke of the Day

"My husband suggested I tone down the Botox and just age gracefully. And I laughed and laughed. But didn't scowl. Cuz Botox."

"There is a new virus which only affects Muslims.Where do they put the infected? In the Quran-tine room!"

"How many people at a Music Festival does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero, its already lit"

"I jumped on the wrong subway this morning and ended up in the outskirts of Narnia. Just fought off a horde of crack fauns."

"""oh holy crap this farmer just crucified a dude, maybe we shoud stay away from this farm"" - what crows realy think when they see a scarecrow"

"Do you know that percussionist in the band? Yeah, he rings a bell."

"A fisherman was trying to learn the alphabet... he got lost at C"

"Did you hear about the guy with the invisible penis? He came out of nowhere."

"This morning I had a 10 o'clock meeting and got there at 9:11. Too soon."

"I tried to be gay once.. But I couldn't fit in."