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Joke of the Day

"Two antennas met on a roof... they fell in love, and decided to get married. The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was excellent."

"Selling Darwinian birds: 5 for $5 Buck finches; get money."

"Say something soft and sweet to me. Dracula: Marshmallows chocolate fudge cake..."

"Just recently I fucked a girl for an hour Thanks daylight savings!"

"Charm me with your beauty and intelligence or just wait till I'm really drunk."

"Where do puppies go when they die? Back into the microwave so I can get in another round."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Its a trick question... Feminists cant change shit"

"DOG: woof ME: you wanna go outside? DOG: [wagging tail] woof woof! ME: ok just a second DOG: [pulls a gun] woof [gestures to door] woof"

"yo mama is so fat she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day."

"What's the difference between Turkey and Duck? Duck doesn't deny the Armenian Genocide."