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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Its a trick question... Feminists cant change shit"

"Whats the leading cause of pedophilia? sexy kids"

"I've been dieting for 2 weeks now and so far I lost 5 Instagram followers."

"What do you get when you cross Cleopatra with Marc Antony? Pharaoh-moans."

"I don't know why people always make such a fuss about how much a newborn weighs. It's a baby, not a stash of cocaine."

"You haven't seen a woman overreact until you tell her she is overreacting."

"I think my girlfriend might be a vegetarian... ...because I've never met a girl like herbivore."

"[tries to eject CD 5 mins into space mission] Houston we have a problem I KNOW U CHEATED W/MY WIFE TOM ENJOY 12 YRS OF SMASH MOUTH U PRICK"

"Hipsters only listen to songs like Surfin' Bird by the Trashmen You've probably never heard of it."

"when is it okay to punch a midget?(X-post fron r/meanjokes) When he stands next to your girlfriend and says that her hair smells nice."