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Joke of the Day

"DOG: woof ME: you wanna go outside? DOG: [wagging tail] woof woof! ME: ok just a second DOG: [pulls a gun] woof [gestures to door] woof"

"Why did God invent Yeast infections? So woman know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt!"

"What do you call 6.022*10^23 butts? Molasses"

"How does a coat steal something? They jacket"

"Did you know that more black men died in Vietnam than white men? It's all because when their sergeant would yell get down they would all start dancing."

"Guess what I saw? wood"

"I went to the doctors the other day. I said ""every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm!"" ""Have you been taking anything for it?"" He asked. ""Yeah, pepper"""

"I was practicing moves on a stripper pole, when all of a sudden I heard a loud ringing. Then 3 firemen fell from the sky and crushed me."

"""The first million is the hardest"" - Adolf Hitler"

"Did you hear the one about the guy who could never remember the punchline? It...um...it was a pretty good one."