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Joke of the Day

"On Mondays, Zombies feel alive inside."

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"If your opinion about global warming is based on the weather outside then you don't deserve to have an opinion about global warming"
"I am going to make millions when I finally finish developing this iPhone app that tells you when the traffic light turns green."
"Did you ever see someone yawn, and then yawn yourself? That psychological reaction is a phenomenon known as: ""Katherine Heigl movies."""
"Michigan is the First State to Welcome Back Sub-$1 Gas Just flip on your water faucet and you'll get it for free"
"If I like ceilings... Does that make me a ceiling fan?"
"A cat walked in to a cobblers.. ..SHOE!"
"Can't believe that it's been over a hundred years since Einstein proposed his theory of relativity. Feels like it was only yesterday..."
"To all /r/Jokes subs you really need the A"
"Why do elephants jump across rivers? So they won't step on the fish."