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Joke of the Day

"If I like ceilings... Does that make me a ceiling fan?"

"I want to be as annoying as a vegetarian but still eat meat so I'm telling people I only eat chicken. I'm calling myself a ""poultrivore""."

"The worst part of going to church with my family is when we get caught on the Kiss Cam."

"I think I'll design something cool, get a bunch of people to like it, and then make it steadily worse with every update. Oops, been done."

"Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup? It's fly soup sir!"

"As 1000 year old necromancers, my wife and I have debated a lot. Like with the war in the middle east, she thinks it's justified, but then I bring up the dead."

"2038. walking to work i see a toilet drone flying by. i do the special hand clap and it flies down and lets me use it then thanks me"

"What is the difference between a female blond and a female mosquito? A female mosquito can raise a family when she is done sucking."

"First post: unconditional love test Lock your wife/husband in the trunk of your car for an hour, then your dog. Guess who's still happy to see you..."

"What is the difference between a Muslim and Dutch? As a Muslim you get stoned for being gay, but both are legal for a Dutch."