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Joke of the Day

"Why do elephants jump across rivers? So they won't step on the fish."

"My friend got jailed 6 months for pulling 4 people out of a burning building. Turns out they were firefighters."

"If I check out your blog, what will you do for me? Love me? Ok fine, but you're telling my mom we're going out."

"I ordered a brand-new sandwich maker online. Her name is Svetlana."

"What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a supermodel? Nothing if her husband knows what's good for him!"

"I'm thinking of becoming Hispanic just for the upside-down exclamation point. I like what you guys did there. I'm jealous."

"How is American beer comparable to having sex on a boat? It's fucking close to water."

"Roses are red, violets are blue Enjoy the cancer I just gave to you"

"a seal walks into a club eh"

"What happens when a frogs car breaks down? IT GETS TOAD!"