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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and I used to like to pretend she was Khaleesi and I was Drogo Until she called me ""Crack of her Moon"""

"I think my calculator is broken... The only numbers that seem to work are 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. It's very odd."

"Probably not a good sign when my favorite thing to do in the whole world is be unconscious for 8 hours"

"Yo mamma conforms to Planck's law - the greater the frequency with which she screws, the more energetic she gets."

"Why are Americas so Hung up on the constitution? It's fucking ancient."

"How do you get a nun pregnant ? Fuck her."

"""Doctor: Put the IV in. Nurse: The 4 what?"" - chronic problem in Roman emergency rooms"

"lookin for a quick and easy way to beef up that scrawny bod and really turn some heads at the beach? float dead in a lake"

"Why should you never go down on a girl the morning after sex? Have you ever tried to pull apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Why did the pig go in the kitchen? To start some bacon"