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Joke of the Day

"Yo mamma conforms to Planck's law - the greater the frequency with which she screws, the more energetic she gets."

"What do you call a pushy aquatic mammal? Press'n Seal"

"Q: How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: WHAT?"

"What did Shang Tsung say when he stole Liu Kang's shoes? Your sole is mine!"

"When I first meet someone I always want to talk about that movie with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio... but the Titanic is a terrible ice breaker."

"Only real 90's kids remember being called a lazy fucking millennial"

"What's Satan's main social media site? Pentagram"

"Did you hear about the guy that ran into a window? He was in a lot of pane."

"All human females should be exterminated at menopause to reduce bitchiness? amiright?"

"Girl, you're like speeding in a construction zone... Double Fine"