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Joke of the Day

"Why are Americas so Hung up on the constitution? It's fucking ancient."

"What does Madeleine McCann and Bin Laden have in common? They both got their backdoors smashed in before being dumped in the sea"

"Forgetting to close my tab at the bar isn't as costly as forgetting to close tabs on my computer at home."

"What lottery did the broom win? The sweepstakes."

"What kind of shoes do thieves wear? Sneakers."

"Oh, man! It really smells like upfoo in here!"

"I heard... ...terrorists are shouting ""allahu akbar!"" just out of habit while plugging their Samsung phones."

"Why are there no gays in a mental asylum? Because they can't wear a strait-jacket."

"Why don't you play UNO with a Mexican? Because they steal all the green cards"

"Usain Bolt's net worth is $60 million. How did he get so rich? By saving the gas money!"