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Joke of the Day

"I think my calculator is broken... The only numbers that seem to work are 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. It's very odd."

"Her: What do you do? Me: I drill for oil. G: That sounds interesting. M: No, it's really... H: Don't do it, I'll leave M:...just boring"

"""Update the force, Luke"" Adobe Wan Kenobi"

"Bless you, my son... What is the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits for puberty before coming on his face."

"A dyslexic man walks into an Arab."

"Sometimes when life closes one door it opens another, because apparently life is trying to air condition the whole damned neighborhood."

"Whenever I'm naked in the bathroom, the shower gets turned on."

"What do you call a Mexican with bullet wounds? Spicoli"

"At a recent meeting at the Vatican the pope joked ""I've never seen so many priests in one room"" I guess he's never been to a kids party then"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang up a picture of Jesus."