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Joke of the Day

"Reddit went down for me... that was the most boring poop ever"

"Kesha dropping the $ sign from her name just shows how bad the economy really is"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic marathoner who would only eat shellfish the night before races? He was crabo-loading."

"Golf, except there's no balls or clubs or anything, and you just drive around in a cart and drink."

"Q: How can you tell when you've passed an elephant? A: Your eyes are watering and you can't get the seat to go down."

"The only problem with kissing a perfect 10... ...is how cold the mirror feels against your lips."

"- Doctor, kiss me! - I can't. We, the doctors, follow a very strict work ethic that does not allow us to kiss our patients. Honestly speaking, I should have never even fucked you in the first place!"

"A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet."

"My mother told me if I dislike someine, I'd have to walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they tried to get me, I'd be a mile away and they'd have no shoes."

"What do you call a black guy who sells flowers? A florist."