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Joke of the Day

"Q: How can you tell when you've passed an elephant? A: Your eyes are watering and you can't get the seat to go down."

"Eating Chinese food is like getting an organ transplant There's always a chance your body will reject it."

"Step 1) Ask mom to come meet your girlfriend. Step 2) Text ""Medusa's excited to meet you."" Step 3) Place statue of yourself on your lawn."

"What's it called when you have decided to stop eating cold turkey sandwiches?"

"Not to sound like a total jock but who won baseball this month?"

"Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs? Because they're good at picking their drivers."

"My wife told me to give her 12"" and make her scream... So I did her 3 times in the poop chute and wiped my junk on the curtain. (can't remember where I stole this from)"

"What's the difference between a stripper and a hooker? Usually about $40"

"One horribly inappropriate comment and you'll never be shown another baby photo at work ever again. Totally worth it."

"The universe contains protons,neutrons,electrons and morons."