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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a black guy who sells flowers? A florist."

"What do you call Annoying Orange and his gang having sex? An Orangy"

"Whoa. There are books on TAPE? Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives."

"I was looking at the menu in a restaurant wondering what the ""Jeremy Clarkson Special"" was Then it hit me"

"Me: grandma have you ever tried Five Guys? Grandma: at once?! *in case you don't know, Five Guys is a burger joint*"

"Where do bros go for spring break? Gainzville."

"[1st day as a paramedic] me: can you point to where it hurts cyclist: [points at his severed leg at the other side of the road]"

"I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes."

"Have you ever eaten an eyeball? Neither have I."

"Me: Would you remarry if I died? Wife: Yes. Me: What?!? Would you at least WAIT awhile? Wife: Depends. Are you dead because I killed you?"