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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a carrot that repeats everything you say? WOAH! BACK UP, BACK UP. You've seen a TALKING CARROT?"

"Did you hear about the guy who was on trial for masturbating to obscure court cases? He got off on a technicality."

"A Jew found some money He counted it and some was missing"

"I was trying to help my blonde neighbour park her trailered boat in her driveway. Go ahead, back up, I kept saying...it took over 2 hours."

"Sex is like a box if chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

"Grandpa Me: My grandpa knew the exact time, day and year he was going to die! Teacher: What an evolved soul? How'd he know? Me: The judge told him."

"Helpful tip: If you throw a baby at a tiger, I only recommend throwing a baby that you don't like."

"You were a great man, Christopher Columbus ... ... to think you had the foresight of giving me work off 5 centuries later."

"What blood type are most grammar Nazis have? A Type O"

"My mom: Asians are some of the safest people in the world... Me: There are asian gangs too My mom: And they're called study groups!"