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Joke of the Day
"Helpful tip: If you throw a baby at a tiger, I only recommend throwing a baby that you don't like."
Next Joke
"Q: What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts? A: A hobby horse."
"That ""dammit"" moment when you forget to take your phone to the toilet so you just sit there like ""Now what do I do...?"""
"Whats the difference between my sex life and my virginity? I have a virginity."
"WIFE: *motions to me that she's choking* ME: *immediately dials 911* 911: what the emergency ME: *handing her the phone* here u talk to them"
"What kind of doctors do elephants become? Pachydermatologists"
"A Viagra pill for woman has just been released onto the market. It's called Niagara."
"Kids, in my day we didn't have text messaging. We had to write a ""Do you like me? Yes or no?"" note and pass it through 17 mutual friends."
"I put my Grandma on speed dial.. I call that Instagram"
"Polish guy turns down A blow job He had three weeks left on his unemployment"