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Joke of the Day

"So a fisherman is having an argument with a stain on his shirt.. And the stain says ""I'm fish jizz, thank you."" And the fisherman replies ""No, you're whale-cum"""

"Why does Santa have a huge sack? Because he only comes once a year."

"What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head ? A tiger moth !"

"You know how dogs think, when you leave, that you're never coming back? That's how I feel when I leave the house for work every morning."

"My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony I was born ready."

"Why did Bill Nye crash his car? Because inertia is a property of matter."

"Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four it'd be a chicken sedan."

"You'll NEVER guess who I came across the other day... your MOM!"

"I was going to smoke a joint with some Mexicans But when I asked if anyone had papers, they all ran off."

"""LOOK AT ME, I'M AN ASSHOLE!"" - People in yellow cars."