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Joke of the Day
"""LOOK AT ME, I'M AN ASSHOLE!"" - People in yellow cars."
Next Joke
"Why did the farmer's wife got angry at him for paying too much attention to his equipment? He kept looking at his hoes."
"Girls are a lot like sleeping bags. I really like being inside them, and they cost about $200."
"A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, ""Five beers please!"""
"Her: Wanna ""lex"" tonight? Him: What's that? Her: Lazy sex. Him: What do we do? Her: Lay in bed and send each other Huffington Post articles."
"I've been ""watching my weight"" and, rest assured, it's still there."
"If I'm guilty of anything it's that I care too much, that and murder"
"When two Lesbians get married. Who pays the shopping bill ?"
"What is the name of a dog with no legs and metal balls? Sparky"
"Wedding At a wedding, the pastor asked all the married men in the crowd to put their arm over the person who makes their life worth living. The bartender was crushed to death."