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Joke of the Day

"My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony I was born ready."

"Wife:Did you take ambien last night? Me: *recalls riding a unicorn that's on fire* No, why? W:The dog's wearing a saddle and she's orange."

"A priest, a rapist and a pedophile walk into a bar. He orders a drink..."

"What do you call a vehicle with no fuel in Africa? Outtagascar"

"Golf is like life! It has it's ups and downs, but eventually you end up in a hole"

"Google just threw a drink in my face I deserved it I have no business asking those questions"

"What do you get when you cross a rooster and an owl? A cock that stays up all night."

"I used to know a very professional scarecrow He was outstanding in his field."

"Scott Summers (X-Men) is dead.. ...by watching his navel. (I don't know if this joke works in English)"

"Honey, do you think if we met now instead of 15 years ago, we'd still marry each other? {turn to see husband shaped hole in the wall}"