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Joke of the Day

"I don't have a problem with man buns You used to have to talk to someone for 3 or 4 minutes to figure out if he's a fuckhead"

"What has 5 teeth and 60 eyes? A bus full of old people"

"What do you get if you cross a snake and a hotdog ? A fangfurter !sna"

"-Houston, do you copy? -Houston, do you copy? -God damn it, Houston! -God damn it, Houston!"

"Pilot: Tower there's a runway light burning. Tower: I'm sure there must be dozens of lights burning. Pilot: Sorry I mean it's smoking."

"How many men does it take to wallpaper a feminists house? Only one, but you have to slice him REALLY thin!"

"Umm Adele, have you tried texting?"

"Getting straight ""A""s does not guarantee success, but plenty of evidence shows that not getting ""A""s doesn't preclude it."

"What do you call freshly made cheese? Goudas-new"

"Sean Connery: A Man Who Conquers All *obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice* What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle? When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection."