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Joke of the Day

"Sean Connery: A Man Who Conquers All *obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice* What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle? When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection."

"Why are hipsters the oldest known form of life? They were on the Earth before it was cool."

"Reward: Lost Dog What kind of a reward is a lost dog?"

"What is the difference between a cult and a religion? Popularity."

"Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks."

"People ask me to do things months in advance and I'm like, WOW, how does it feel not to expect you might die by freak accident at any time?"

"I heard the comedians at Jamestown were pretty bad... The punchlines were so shitty everyone died."

"My friend asked me if the new Star Wars movie was in 3D I said yes, but they R2D2"

"What does a cow measure its harddrive in? Moogabytes"

"Did you hear the one about the feminist stand-up? It's not funny."