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Joke of the Day

"When I say I'm gonna take a nap, it means I'm gonna go on my computer for three hours."

"How manny women dose it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one she hokds the blub and the world revolves around her."

"Why do you always see beggars at protests? They're always looking for some sort of change!"

"I want to pump iron with all of Twitter. I want to spot my followers and scoff at my haters' form"

"Never trust a married guys opinion of who's hot. It's like asking a starving guy what food tastes good."

"If you send more than one Facebook invitation to the same thing, I will come & shit right in the middle of whatever it is."

"Why couldn't anyone catch the hippie? He was way to high, man."

"Someone just licked their thumb before handing me a paper. I hope my story inspires other victims to come forward."

"I just read a book on Stockholm Syndrome. The first couple of chapters were terrible, but by the end I loved it!"

"I like the word funfetti because it takes confetti, which is used in somber occasions, like funerals, and it repurposes it for fun"