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Joke of the Day

"Someone just licked their thumb before handing me a paper. I hope my story inspires other victims to come forward."

"Did you hear about the dimwit who went to visit his girlfriend and found she didn't have very much on? He went back nine months later and she had a little moron."

"Free beer tomorrow!"

"I'm so Italian . . . I even text with my hands."

"Fellas, If her pelvis doesn't touch yours when you embrace, she doesn't find you attractive."

"What happened when Sean Connery bought himself a little kitten? The cat shat on the mat."

"Donald Trump has a new slogan that he hopes will help his numbers with African American voters. ""Orange Is The New Black."""

"Even though the nurse who performed my circumcision did a bad job... I still left her a tip."

"I heard there's this amazing place underground... ...where you can have sex with miners."

"What did Sherrock Holmes say to his partner? Sedimentary my dear Watson!"