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Joke of the Day

"Never trust a married guys opinion of who's hot. It's like asking a starving guy what food tastes good."

"Grandma: what's oversharing? Me: It's when you talk about your hemorrhoid surgery on FaceBook."

"Bernie Sanders Draws 28,000 in Portland Rally I never would have guessed he was such a talented and quick artist."

"Why did the reddit mod cross the road? [removed]"

"You know you've been coding for too long when... System.express(feelings.tired);"

"A magnet walks into a bar...., what does he order? Nothing... he's still stuck to the entrance."

"I want this guy to teach me to fish, but he keeps handing me lemons."

"Teacher: ""Who built the first American car?"" Student: ""Me Pilgrims."" Teacher: ""The Pilgrims?"" Student: ""Yeah they made the Mayflower Compact."""

"How do you put out a maxipad fire? You tampon it."

"Life is like a gluten allergy.. It seems like everybody but me has one."