100015

Joke of the Day

"I like the word funfetti because it takes confetti, which is used in somber occasions, like funerals, and it repurposes it for fun"

"Two cannibals were having lunch. ""Your wife makes a great soup"" said one to the other. ""Yes!"" agreed the first. ""But I'm going to miss her terribly."""

"Ever heard of the undertaker who accidentally dug another body? He made a grave mistake."

"How do you know if a chef is also a mathematician.. ...the proof is in the pudding..."

"If I was a waitress, I would plant fake engagement rings in every girls champagne glass, just to watch the boyfriends panic."

"Once you go black, you can always go back to having coffee with milk, there's really no set in stone rules here."

"I like my shits like I like my Slavs Squatting."

"The problem with protests... Is that once things start to get lit, the cops show up and ruin it."

"Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. Except Gary. Gary was in your house going through your underwear drawer. He also kissed your cat."

"Just ordered Chinese food from a place called Magic Wok. In the 'additional notes' I said ""pls make the sadness disappear."" LAUGH OUT LOUD"