63897

Joke of the Day

"When you are on a first date and she says to you: ""I want you to treat me like a movie star,"" it is vitally important to establish which type of movie."

"There's a thin line between ""I should do a status update about that"" and ""I should talk to a therapist about that""..."

"A great way to relive your childhood is to outgrow your clothes every few months."

"My big next door neighbour just confronted me about missing items from his washing line. I nearly shit his pants"

"What do you call a Mexican that lost his car? Carlos"

"What do you call a dead chicken that's haunting your house? A poultrygeist"

"My girlfriend always gets her way by pretending she's sad. She is using sighcology"

"[dj voice] ""Make some noise, Dad Party!"" *dads go nuts* ""Whatcha wanna hear, I'm taking requests"" [in unison] HI TAKING REQUESTS I'M DAD"

"A recent medical study shows that women who carry a little extra weight generally live longer than the men in their lives who mention it."

"I totally understand how batteries feel... because I'm rarely ever included in things either."