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Joke of the Day

"A recent medical study shows that women who carry a little extra weight generally live longer than the men in their lives who mention it."

"My daughter knows what a meth lab is thanks to an episode of The Simpsons. At least that's what I had to tell child services just now."

"Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? It lifts their spirits."

"Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions"

"My girlfriend told me her period was late So I said it's probably stuck in traffic."

"I just danced like no Juan was watching, but he totally was and he cut off the tequila then threw me out of his restaurant you guys."

"Lucy, In the Sky, With Diamonds John Lennon, proving he was a terrible Clue player"

"What do women and dog shit have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up"

"Things were going well with my date, until she noticed my Roomba was a Frisbee glued to a bunch of rats"

"What's the difference between ""like"", ""love"" and ""showing off""? Spit, Swallow and Gargle."