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Joke of the Day

"I totally understand how batteries feel... because I'm rarely ever included in things either."

"Why do good farmers only excel when they are actually farming? (X-post from /r/jokes) Because they are out standing in their field."

"Why would anyone become an architect when everything you do gets destroyed in an X-Men movie?"

"How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but they'd have to be really, *really* small."

"Of course I believe you are God's gift to women. He gave us periods and painful childbirth. Why not you too?"

"Why can't Two-Face kill Batman? Because he's two Dents."

"Aieee, Ginsburg's dead! If you've never heard the joke with this punchline, find someone who knows it and ask him to tell it to you. It's very funny, but it's too long to bother typing out here."

"If you don't like gay marriage, blame straight people, they're the ones who keep having gay babies."

"Whenever there is injustice in the world, Americans will rise up and retweet a hashtag."

"I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need."