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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying delivering a baby is easy, but I'm pretty sure all I need is a box, some tape, and a stamp."

"[Water cooler] -Looks like you had a wild weekend! How'd you get the scratches? *flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? OMG!!!!!!! BREATHE!! BREEEEEATHE!!!!!"

"Good for Christian Bale, visiting the victims of the Aurora, Colorado massacre. I heard some of them even got to meet Heath Ledger."

"Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas? In a skeptic tank. --- (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious; feel free to suggest a better wording!)"

"Helium walks into a bar The bartender says ""sorry we don't serve noble gases here."" The helium did not react"

"Knock, Knock Whose there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget."

"Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens."

"The National Shredded Cheese Council just endorsed Donald Trump for president... They're ready to make America grate again."

"How many american rugby fans does it take to change a lightbulb Both of them"