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Joke of the Day

"Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas? In a skeptic tank. --- (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious; feel free to suggest a better wording!)"

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"Did you see Matt Damon's character in Invictus? That's apartheid like to play."
"I like my beer like I like me sex slaves..... Imported"
"So a guy gave his friend ten puns hoping one of them would make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did"
"Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.. Ha, ha fooled you, I'm a submarine."
"What do you call that mean guy who keeps waking you up? A myoclonic jerk."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the opossum it could be done."
"HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of Hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately."
"HELP! I just sent my girlfriend a dick pic... and she just sent me one back."
"Note to self: Before committing any murders, get head and shoulders. Can't be leaving DNA all over the place."