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Joke of the Day

"Will Smith joke How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prince..."

"Pro Tip: you can't just be sorry. You have to understand why I expect you to be sorry and be able to articulate that back to me in detail"

"[at the gym] ME: Hey, can you spot me? GUY: Sure, which machine? ME: *gestures to vending machine* Right over there"

"2 Scientists walk into a bar... The first one tells the bartender, ""I'd like some H2O"" Upon hearing that, the second scientist says, ""I'd like some water too. Jimmy, we're not in the lab anymore..."""

"Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair? Cause if you dragged them by the feet, they'd fill up with dirt."

"If global warming was causing guns to melt, we'd all be driving electric cars within two weeks."

"Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now."

"Why did the boy drip his ice cream? He got hit by a bus."

"Did you guys hear the rumor about the butter? I don't know if I should spread it."

"I like working out. Sometimes I still feel like I have the body of a teenager, but then I remember I buried that slut like, a week ago."