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Joke of the Day

"Arrghh! I'm so bummed! I finally got laid off"

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock? you can't fuck a rock"

"What do you call an Egyptian spine manipulator? A Cairo-practor"

"I think it's a shame that young people today no longer even know why we celebrate Halloween. None of us would be here today if Jesus hadn't slain that fucking giant pumpkin."

"I started an alcohol based diet. I feel great! I've already lost 4 or 5 days! Not OC, unsure of source."

"Wanna know how I tell my sister is on her period? My Dad's dick tastes like blood."

"Just got a tattoo of my wife so when she pisses me off I can stab myself in the arm and watch that b%tch bleed."

"Don't worry, officer, this isn't my blood. Really, stop searching me! I feel fine!"

"My daughter, a hair stylist, has a tiny pair of scissors tattooed behind her ear with tiny red teardrops for clients she accidently stabbed."

"Why is Barbie never pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box."