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Joke of the Day

"My daughter, a hair stylist, has a tiny pair of scissors tattooed behind her ear with tiny red teardrops for clients she accidently stabbed."

"What's the best part about going in without a condom? The abortion."

"*re-dials* Hey girl, before I come over, did you say you were in a jacuzzi or the yakuza?"

"What do call a man who swims the Atlantic with no arms and no legs Clever Dick"

"What did James Potter say to his wife when she told him she's been cheating with one of his friends ? ARE YOU FUCKING SIRIUS ?"

"What do you call the area where a horse lives? The NEIGHHHHHHborhood"

"How can a man go eight days without sleep? No problem , He sleeps at night."

"3 days ago I ate my daughters's m&m's while she was napping. When she woke I told her the cat ate 'em She's still mad at the cat. Dumb kid."

"What do you call a Jedi who worries about not making deadlines? Panickin' Skywalker."

"funny clean jokes I need some funny clean jokes for my speech class... Anyone have any? They have to be clean"