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Joke of the Day

"I started an alcohol based diet. I feel great! I've already lost 4 or 5 days! Not OC, unsure of source."

"I told my girlfriend I'm JFK Because I'm the king of cum-a-lot"

"The greatest trick Facebook ever pulled was to convince the world we actually want to keep in touch with people we went to school with."

"What did the throwing star say when I asked her if she could hit her target? Of course, I'm shuriken."

"What did one saggy t*t say to the other saggy t*t? If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!"

"To be clear...putting your entire fist in your mouth should be a party trick saved for after Uncle Barry leaves"

"The cool thing about shaving all my pubes off is that I get to see exactly what my penis looked like when I was first born."

"Actually, the past tense is 'hanged' as in 'he hanged himself'. Sorry about your dad, though"

"How many cats sawed in half does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently 10 aren't enough :\"

"In honor of Columbus Day I'm going to drive around until I get lost then make myself at home in the first clearly inhabited house I find"