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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I'm late, I was staring at a picture of the Ninja Turtles for an hour trying to figure out why they always wear belts with no pants."

"My anchor tattoo is so realistic I can't get out of the bathtub."

"How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp? Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining."

"My friend collects scoliosis journals He has *back* issues."

"I'm sorry you lost the weightlifting competition. Would you like a pick me up?"

"Why do dwarfs laugh will running ? Because the grass tickles their balls !!"

"D.E.L.T.A. Airlines Didn't Even Leave The Airport"

"Lawyer: did your boyfriend commit the crime? Girlfriend: honey he can't even commit to this relationship Entire jury: OH SNAP"

"When someone posts ""Hmmm. That was interesting..."" as their status on FB, I never ask what they're talking about because it never is."

"[Ouija Board] ""Oh great spirits tell me ur secrets"" You'll die soon ""OMG HOW"" Hold on I have another call"